Milan (Part One)

Have you ever had the urge to fart, but didn't know if it was gonna be gas or diarrhea? I mean, they're both bad, but one is exponentially worse. I think that was the same feeling that the original inhabitants of Italy had when deciding whether or not to build the city of Milano.

This place is depressing. And it's not only the rain. I met a guy in Spain named Fabio Ferarri (not kidding), and he told me the exact same thing. He left Milan in hopes of finding a city that "had more of a desire to live". I think the word "suicide" was lost in translation.

Granted, this city is the fashion center of Europe. With the main branches of Armani, Gucci, D&G, etc. here, it's hard to really say that this city doesn't have any redeeming qualities. Especially with runway models walking around everywhere.

Everything is expensive here. My first night, I paid 35euros for a shit hotel. I've never stayed in a place where I have actually questioned whether or not it was a brothel. But it was run by a very nice Italian elderly couple who couldn't speak English, but insisted on rattling off in Italian to me. My mouth hurts from smiling so much.

Tonight, I'm staying at a slightly cheaper hostel, but not at all as cool as the last ones I've stayed at. I'm sitting here two beds away from an old, overweight man who snores like he's trying to keep bears away. And next to me is a black kid from India WITH A CASSETTE PLAYER. He would be an interesting character to chat with, but he keeps rewinding his cassette player to replay the same techno/rap song over and over again.

I ate a pizza today. It was actually pretty big. And it was thin crust. But again, I've been disappointed with Italian food so far. I mean, the portions looks generally small, and it's super expensive, and I honestly LOVE our American versions of these dishes. AND HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT HAVE ALFREDO SAUCE?!?!

Even the bread here sucks. It's hard, and dry, and they charge you for it at restaurants. They also have a "cover charge" for sitting down at restaurants. I mean, it's only 2euros, but it's ridiculous.

BUT...I did get some Sicilian cherry tomatoes from the grocery store last night, and I was really surprised. Let me put it this way- I don't like cherry tomatoes. They're too squishy, and they explode in your mouth like a cockroach. But THESE tomatoes...omigod.

They were like biting into the sweetest peach you can imagine. Juicy...but firm to the touch. And there were no seeds or gooey center. Soooooo sweet, too. Good job, Sicily.